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Work Sample & Commentary: Hamsters
The task
As part of a non-fiction study, students examined a number of interesting ways to present informational material. They read different types of non-fiction books. The students then researched information on a topic that interested them and developed a plan to present their research in an interesting way. This student chose hamsters as a topic and began the research by observation (this is documented with photographs) and then by reading books.
Circumstances of performance
This sample of student work was produced under the following conditions:
alone in a group
in class as homework
with teacher feedback with peer feedback  
timed opportunity for revision  

What the work shows
c Reading: The student reads and comprehends informational materials to develop understanding and expertise and produces written or oral work that:
• restates or summarizes information;
• relates new information to prior knowledge and experience;
• extends ideas;
•

makes connections to related topics or information.

The student organized and restated information from a variety of sources in a manner appropriate for the audience. The student used prior knowledge of informational books to structure the book (i.e., table of contents and chapters).
The student related the new information gathered from reading to her prior personal experience of having hamsters as pets. For example, the student gave technical information along with the more observable behavioral characteristics and features of the hamsters.
The student extended the information about the hamsters’ digestion when she suggested that limiting the amount of fruits and vegetables given to the hamster would help cure diarrhea.
The student made connections between hamsters and humans. For example, the student stated that both humans and hamsters are mammals and discussed hamsters’ keen sense of smell in relation to the human sense of sight. The student also compared hamsters with cats to give the reader a clear idea of how hamsters clean themselves.
The report provides a connection between the information presented and the assumption that the reader has or would want to have a hamster as a pet.
This work sample illustrates a standard-setting performance for the following parts of the standards:
c Reading: Read and comprehend informational materials.
a Writing: Produce a report.

The student incorporated information from an art class to take the photographs of the hamsters for the book. The teacher advised the class that light colored objects look best when photographed against a dark background.

a Writing: The student produces a report that:
• engages the reader by establishing a context, creating a persona, and otherwise developing reader interest;
• develops a controlling idea that conveys a perspective on the subject;
• creates an organizing structure appropriate to a specific purpose, audience, and context;
• includes appropriate facts and details;
• excludes extraneous and inappropriate information;
• uses a range of appropriate strategies, such as providing facts and details, describing or analyzing the subject, and narrating a relevant anecdote;
• provides a sense of closure to the writing.

This report about hamsters is a spiral bound book with each of the pages laminated. The cover has the title of the book along with a photograph of hamsters on the front and an interesting fact about hamsters on the back. The presentation and format of the book, e.g., the dedication and the table of contents, are attractive and engage the reader’s interest.
The back cover, in the tradition of most books, is designed to get the reader interested in the book. The student selected an interesting but gruesome fact about hamsters to entice the audience, peers interested in hamsters, to read the book. This also establishes the context for the reader.
The title and the blurb on the back cover establish the purpose of the book as informational. The back cover also establishes the student as an authority on hamsters.
The report is written in the student’s own authoritative voice providing facts and explaining the significance of each. The third person account “About the Author” reinforces the student’s persona as an expert on hamsters.

The report is written in the student’s own authoritative voice providing facts and explaining the significance of each. The third person account “About the Author” reinforces the student’s persona as an expert on hamsters.
The table of contents creates an organizing structure for the guide to hamsters and their care. The book is divided into chapters, each of which answers a question about hamsters and their care. These questions are used as the titles for the chapters for clear referencing.
The positive tone of the first chapter, “What is a hamster?” conveys the report’s perspective and a predisposition towards hamsters.

The use of “you” as the audience and the parenthetical asides throughout keep the tone of the book friendly and conversational while keeping the reader engaged.
The student demonstrated an awareness of audience by explaining the reasons for some of the unusual and disturbing facts about hamsters thereby assuring the reader that these facts are actually natural and ordinary.
The work includes appropriate facts and details about hamsters to inform and interest the reader.
The work uses many “How to” statements to connect the reader to the information and help place each within the context of practical information on the basic care of hamsters.
The work expands and reinforces the reader’s knowledge by re-visiting concepts several times throughout the piece. Comparing and contrasting hamsters to humans also facilitates reader understanding.
The work moves from a basic description of a hamster to the end of the reproduction cycle and presents all of the information in a logic sequence. Each of the chapters of the work is complete as it deals with a specific topic of information before moving on to the next.
Like many of the nature programs shown on television, the student ends at the point just before the baby hamsters reach maturity which is where the student began the report. The work achieves formal closure with the blurb about the author.

 

There are some errors of word choice (e.g., “worn” instead of “wear” in the section “What is a Hamster”), run-on sentences (e.g., the first sentence in the second paragraph of “How Good Are Hamsters’ Senses?”), and spelling (e.g., “sence” instead of “sense” in “How Good Are Hamsters’ Senses?”).
There are some sentences where it would appear the student may have relied upon the grammatical structures of the informational books she used for research. For example, the description of how hamsters are born suggests an attempt by the student to combine her own language with more sophisticated syntax. This is fairly common among young writers who are experimenting with their use of language.