Work Sample & Commentary: Moneyville

Work Sample & Commentary: Moneyville

The task Students were asked to produce a written response to the book, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, by Judi Barrett.
Circumstances of performance This sample of student work was produced under the following conditions:
alone	in a group
in class	as homework
with teacher feedback	with peer feedback
timed	opportunity for revision

What the work shows c Writing: The student produces a narrative account (fictional or autobiographical) that:
•	engages the reader by establishing a context, creating a point of view, and otherwise developing reader interest;
•	establishes a situation, plot, point of view, setting, and conflict (and for autobiography, the significance of events);
•	creates an organizing structure;
•	includes sensory details and concrete language to develop plot and character;
•	excludes extraneous details and inconsistencies;
•	develops complex characters;
•	uses a range of appropriate strategies, such as dialogue and tension or suspense;
•	provides a sense of closure to the writing.

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The work establishes a context and develops reader interest in the first paragraph by supplying the background for the unusual setting of the story. The straightforward, journalistic style in an omniscient voice creates an illusion of credibility which instantly captures the reader’s attention.

This work sample illustrates a standard-setting performance for the following part of the standards:

c	Writing: Produce a narrative account.

The choice of language for the first sentence, “Once there was…,” is a traditional fairy tale/fable opening. This also engages the reader while establishing the genre and mood.

The student used the chronological order of events as the framework for the fictional narrative. The two anecdotes the student chose to elaborate on are structured within two separate days (i.e., “One day…” and “Another day…”) which keeps the organization of the narrative clear and uncluttered.

The student used concrete language to develop the plot and the conflict of the narrative.

The work does not develop complex characters which is in keeping with the moral tale style of the narrative. However, the townspeople, as characters, go through a series of changes in the course of the story. At the beginning, it can be assumed that everyone is leading a regular life. But after the money begins to fall from the sky, their personalities change and they become greedy and lazy. The anecdote about the boy who bought all the books at the book fair suggests that they also became selfish.

The people decide to move away when the town becomes dangerous due to the falling money. They recognize that they would rather return to their original values and lifestyle.

The story retains the reader’s interest by keeping the writing focused and to the point.

The work closes appropriately with the townspeople’s decision to abandon Moneyville. The final line mimics the traditional tale by referring to the fate of the antagonist, in this case Moneyville.