The work engages the reader by establishing the main character and the context. In the first paragraph, Max, a boy from outer space, decides to come to Earth to make friends and learn English and math.

The plot sequence includes all the appropriate elements—beginning: the arrival of Max in New York City; middle: Max locates a school but momentarily scares the people in the principal’s office; end: the principal, welcoming Max rather than rejecting his alien appearance, places Max in a kindergarten class, where he makes friends and learns English and math. These elements provide an organizing structure for the work.

The narrative stays focused on the alien boy’s journey and encounters, and does not veer off on other topics.
The work develops reader interest by placing the alien boy in New York City, alone in unfamiliar surroundings. The big buildings, traffic and people of the city frighten Max.
The conflict in the story occurs as Max steps into the principal’s office. The principal, by welcoming and immediately accepting Max, quickly resolves the conflict, leading to the successful resolution of the story.
The student included details, such as the city bus, “Number 36,” and the number of the public school. This establishes the urban setting.
The characterization of the principal as kind and inviting is crucial to the resolution of the plot.
The student attempted to use quotation marks in several places in the work. Even though the quotation marks are used incorrectly or omitted in several places, the student demonstrated a developing awareness of this strategy for showing dialogue in a story.
The student used rising action and conflict—Max searches for and finds a school, locates the principal’s office, enters the office, and causes people to scream—to create tension.
The final paragraph provides a sense of closure to the writing. Max has accomplished his goals and feels so comfortable in New York City that he writes to his family telling them that he has decided to stay.

This ESL student demonstrated a basic command of the rules of the English language within the context of second language acquisition at the advanced proficiency level. The errors are typical of those made by second language learners and show that the student is well on the way to mastering the conventions of written English and meeting the standard for conventions, grammar, and usage (a).

In the sentence, “One day he asked his father that he wanted to go to earth,” the student was exploring the use of relative clauses, but chose the wrong structure. The student could have said, “…he told his father that he wanted to go,” or “…he asked his father if he could go….” The teacher should notice this error, and plan to provide contextualized practice in subsequent ESL lessons.
The student’s use of the lower case “e” in “english” is an instance of transferring spelling rules from the native language.
In two instances, “he steped at the door” and “he came out of his desk” the student misused prepositions. The student is in the process of mastering the many complex usages in English.
The student has not yet learned when to double the final consonant for a past tense marker as indicated in “he steped at the door.”
Another indication of transference of native language rules is the omission of the article “the” before “number 36 bus.”