The task
As part of an in-class computer writing project, advanced level ESL
students were asked to write, edit, and illustrate narrative picture
books. This student prepared a picture book account of a family trip
to the Bronx Zoo. |
Circumstances
of performance
This sample of student work was produced under the following
conditions: |
| alone |
in a group |
| in class |
as homework |
| with teacher feedback |
with peer feedback |
| timed |
opportunity for revision |
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This
work sample illustrates an advanced level ESL performance
for the following part of the standards:
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|
 c |
Writing: Produce a narrative
account. |
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What the work shows
c
Writing: The student produces a narrative
account (fictional or autobiographical) that:
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| • |
engages the reader by establishing
a context, creating a point of view, and otherwise developing reader
interest; |
| • |
establishes a situation, plot,
point of view, setting, and conflict (and for autobiography, the significance
of events); |
| • |
creates an organizing structure; |
| • |
includes sensory details and
concrete language to develop plot and character; |
| • |
excludes extraneous details
and inconsistencies; |
| • |
develops complex characters; |
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| • |
uses a range of appropriate
strategies, such as dialogue and tension or suspense; |
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| • |
provides a sense of closure
to the writing. |
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This writing project combines writing,
word processing, and art activities. The student organized and presented
an account of the trip using a computer word processing program and
original art work.
 The title
of the work establishes the context as the student’s first
visit to the zoo.
The point of view is that of the student, who narrates the account
in the first person.
The student’s journey through the zoo provides an organizing
structure for the work. Each page describes a different animal.
The first sentence of each page introduces the animal to be discussed
and then goes on to give some facts and the student’s reactions.
The illustrations contribute to the book’s organizing structure
and add humor. This approach is appropriate for the purpose of an
illustrated story directed to a peer audience.
 The student’s
personal reaction to each animal gives significance to the events.
On each page the student stated an opinion about the animals and
included a supporting statement for that opinion: “I liked
them [the pandas] because they were quiet and calm.”
 The account
includes facts and details about the animals in concrete language:
“They liked eating peanuts.” The description includes
both the appearance and activities of the animals.
 The work
remains focused on the animals, and excludes extraneous and inappropriate
information.
 The student
provided closure for the text by describing the family leaving the
zoo and feeling good about their adventure: “Seeing those animals
in the Bronx Zoo made my day wonderful.” This is paralleled
in the illustrations with the picture of the family group leaving
the zoo.
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This ESL student demonstrated
a basic command of the rules of the English language within the context
of second language acquisition at the advanced proficiency level.
The student made good use of introductory sentences, descriptive language,
and active verbs expressing past tense, which effectively moved the
story line along.
 The student
used the auxiliary verb “would” effectively as one way of
showing habitual past action. The student wrote a few compound sentences.
Over time and with appropriate instruction, the student will develop
a range of written language on par with native speakers of English
of the same age.
 The prepositional
phrase “from afar” shows sensitivity to English usage. |
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