Work Sample & Commentary: "The Necklace" Revisted

Work Sample & Commentary: "The Necklace" Revisted

The task
Students were asked to write a new ending to a short story read during the school term. This student chose the story “The Necklace” by Guy de Maupassant.

Circumstances of performance This sample of student work was produced under the following conditions:
alone	in a group
in class	as homework
with teacher feedback	with peer feedback
timed	opportunity for revision

What the work shows

c Writing: The student produces a narrative account (fictional or autobiographical) that:
•	engages the reader by establishing a context, creating a point of view, and otherwise developing reader interest;
•	establishes a situation, plot, point of view, setting, and conflict (and for autobiography, the significance of events and of conclusions that can be drawn from those events);
•	creates an organizing structure;
•	includes sensory details and concrete language to develop plot and character;
•	excludes extraneous details and inconsistencies;
•	develops complex characters;
•	uses a range of appropriate strategies, such as dialogue, tension or suspense, naming, pacing, and specific narrative action, e.g., movement, gestures, expressions;
•	provides a sense of closure to the writing.

This work sample illustrates a standard-setting performance for the following parts of the standards:

c	Writing: Produce a narrative account.
a	Conventions: Demonstrate an understanding of the rules of the English language.

The work engages the reader by establishing the context as the continuation of the short story familiar to many people. We are reminded of some of the facts of the story in the first sentence, “ten years in poverty…to pay for the necklace.”
The revelation that the necklace is not genuine creates an ironic situation for the plot due to Mathilde’s unawareness of this fact.

Throughout the work, the inclusion of descriptive phrases, such as “looking lifeless,” “dejected,” “dazed,” “eyes were blank,” and “stunned,” etc., help to develop Mathilde’s state of mind. Other descriptions comparing Mathilde’s habitat with that of Jeanne’s also underscore Mathilde’s sense of dejection.

The student employed an effective writing strategy by using dialogue:
to introduce the plot twist (the returned necklace is also an imitation) and to further develop the plot;
to develop the complexity of the characters; and
to build tension at the appropriate moments in the plot.
The student used specific narrative action to describe the attack in the alley. Each of the sentences here begins with the words, “She did not…,” which conveys Mathilde’s shock and disassociation from the reality of the attack.
The narrative’s ironic ending, “…he now too, had fallen under the illusion,” parallels the irony introduced at the start of the work. This, along with the description of the final acts of theft and murder, provides closure for the narrative.

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a Conventions, Grammar, and Usage of the English Language: The student independently and habitually demonstrates an understanding of the rules of the English language in written and oral work, and selects the structures and features of language appropriate to the purpose, audience, and context of the work. The student demonstrates control of:
• grammar;
• paragraph structure;
• punctuation;
• sentence construction;
• spelling;
• usage.

The student demonstrated control of grammar, paragraph structure, punctuation, sentence construction, spelling, and usage.

The error in the second last paragraph (“face” instead of “faced”) does not detract from the overall quality of the work.

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