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Work Sample & Commentary: School Bond Levy

The task
Students were asked to write a persuasive essay based on the research.

Circumstances of performance
This sample of student work was produced under the following conditions:
alone in a group
in class as homework
with teacher feedback with peer feedback
timed opportunity for revision

What the work shows
e The student produces a persuasive essay that:
• engages the reader by establishing a context, creating a persona, and otherwise developing reader interest;
• develops a controlling idea that makes a clear and knowledgeable judgment;
• creates an organizing structure that is appropriate to the needs, values, and interests of a specified audience, and arranges details, reasons, examples, and anecdotes effectively and persuasively;
• includes appropriate information and arguments;
• excludes information and arguments that are irrelevant;
• anticipates and addresses reader concerns and counter-arguments;
• supports arguments with detailed evidence, citing sources of information as appropriate;
• uses a range of strategies to elaborate and persuade, such as definitions, descriptions, illustrations, examples from evidence, and anecdotes;
• provides a sense of closure to the writing.

This work sample illustrates a standard-setting performance for the following parts of the standards:
e Writing: Produce a persuasive essay.
a Conventions: Demonstrate an understanding of the rules of the English language


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The essay engages the reader by establishing the context of identifying the facilities that the bond levy will add or improve, and by taking a clear stand on the issue. The persona is that of a serious, reasonable individual willing to address opposing viewpoints.


The essay’s organization takes into consideration its audience of adults concerned with accelerating tax levies. For example, paragraph three deals with costs by detailing the actual dollar amount needed, and by arguing that current low interest rates and expenses make additions and repairs more cost effective today than they would be in the future.

All of the information and arguments included are relevant to the purpose of the essay.


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The student anticipated reader concerns about the need for repairs by recounting in detail the results of a heating system failure and the unsafe conditions in the library.

The arguments are supported with clear, detailed evidence in which the student provided an account of the total costs and the results of Ballot Measure 5.
The student cited scheduling difficulties resulting from having only one gym. The arguments are supported with effective illustrations showing why more space is needed.

Detailed information is included in an effort to persuade the audience, particularly those who voted against the initial bond initiative.
The student used an effective strategy in closing the argument with an emotional plea: “If the school is inadequate, how can the younger generations be provided with the education and training they need to be successful in the future?”

 

a Conventions, Grammar, and Usage of the English Language: The student independently and habitually demonstrates an understanding of the rules of the English language in written or oral work, and selects the structures and features of language appropriate to the purpose, audience, and context of the work. The student demonstrates control of:
• grammar;
• paragraph structure;
• punctuation;
• sentence construction;
• spelling;
• usage.

In almost error free writing, the student managed grammar, usage, spelling, punctuation, sentence construction, and paragraph structure.

The student used the reasons why the school bond levy should be supported as the topic sentences of the paragraphs and provided smooth transitions between the paragraphs. An additional advantage of this method is that these reasons are highlighted.

The student also used a variety of other writing strategies to strengthen the argument in support of the levy. For example, the student used:

rhetorical questions; and
emotive language, e.g., “absurd,” and “must.”

There are some errors, for example, the word “we” appears in the first sentence of the fifth paragraph unnecessarily. There is also a slip in tenses in the fifth sentence of the fifth paragraph. These errors do not detract from the overall quality of the work.


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