Work Sample & Commentary: Alternative Music
The task
Transitional ESL students were asked to create a report based on individual
research. Students selected their own topics on a common theme of "Finding
America."
| Circumstances of performance This sample of student work was produced under the following conditions: | |
| alone | in a group |
| in class | as homework |
| with teacher feedback | with peer feedback |
| timed | opportunity for revision |
What the work shows
a
Writing: The student produces a report that:
• engages the reader by establishing a context, creating a persona,
and otherwise developing reader interest;
• develops a controlling idea that conveys a perspective on the subject;
• creates an organizing structure appropriate to purpose, audience,
and context;
• includes appropriate facts and details;
• excludes extraneous and inappropriate information;
• uses a range of appropriate strategies, such as providing facts
and details, describing or analyzing the subject, narrating a relevant
anecdote, comparing and contrasting, naming, explaining benefits or limitations,
demonstrating claims or assertions, and providing a scenario to illustrate;
• provides a sense of closure to the writing.
|
|
The student developed the controlling idea that alternative music is a valid and important art form. This idea is maintained throughout the work. |
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The student
established the context by identifying the subject of the report
as alternative music in the first paragraph. The student created
a persona of a recent immigrant who discovers something appealing.
|
|
The student used a variety of appropriate strategies
such as: The work shows that the student effectively managed
the conventions of English appropriate to the transitional level.
The student correctly used: Some of the errors in the work can be attributed
to the student’s stage of second language acquisition,
such as: |
describing
the varieties of alternative music;
comparing
alternative music to artworks produced by famous painters; and
providing
details about Nirvana, pioneers in the alternative music field.
The
work provides a sense of closure by referring back to the student’s
personal experience.
complex
sentences; and
the
passive voice. This is expected at the transitional level of
ESL.
awkward
constructions and improper punctuation; and
the
incorrect use of articles are also to be expected at this level.
