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Work Sample & Commentary:  Miss Sadie
The task
In an on-demand assessment setting, students were asked to present a special person to readers who do not know the person. They could present the person through details of appearance and manner, descriptions of working or living environment, or habits and typical activities. In addition, the students were to reveal the personal quality of their relationship with the person presented.

Circumstances of performance

This sample of student work was produced under the following conditions:
alone in a group
in class as homework
with teacher feedback with peer feedback
timed opportunity for revision
This work sample illustrates a standard-setting performance for the following part of the standards:

c Writing: Produce a narrative account.
Errors in this first draft may be attributed to the nature of the task, which was given in a timed writing situation. The writing was completed in forty-five minutes with no opportunities for review and revision. The spelling and grammatical errors in the work sample do not detract from the overall quality of the work.

What the work shows
c Writing: The student produces a narrative account (fictional or autobiographical) that:
engages the reader by establishing a context, creating a point of view, and otherwise developing reader interest;
establishes a situation, plot, point of view, setting, and conflict (and for autobiography, the significance of events and of conclusions that can be drawn from those events);
creates an organizing structure;
includes sensory details and concrete language to develop plot and character;
excludes extraneous details and inconsistencies;
develops complex characters;
uses a range of appropriate strategies, such as dialogue, tension or suspense, naming, and specific narrative action, e.g., movement, gestures, expressions;
provides a sense of closure to the writing.

The reader's interest is engaged by a vivid beginning that raises a question about why Miss Sadie is not in her rocking chair even though the narrator claims she can still see her.

The reader is further engaged by the creation of a persona that can handle an emotional issue, that is, the loss of a valued friend, without becoming overly sentimental.
The significance of the events of the summer are established.
The student created an organizing structure by effectively completing the circle begun in the first paragraph: from “Miss Sadie no longer sits in her rocking chair on her porch on summer days. But I still can see her,” to “Because Miss Sadie no longer sits in her rocking chair on her porch on summer days. I’m glad that I can still see her.”
Sensory details are included that draw the reader into the situations being described.

The character of Miss Sadie is developed through dialogue, description, short anecdotes, and a recounting of certain events, so that when the final meeting between the persona and Miss Sadie occurs, the reader has a clear understanding of its significance.

The student used a wide range of strategies to present the character of Miss Sadie, including:
vivid imagery;
dialect;
accounts of ancestors; and
the ability to understand and forgive rude
behavior.