| The task Students were asked to write a story, focusing on the element of setting, about an exchange student coming to meet a host family in New York City and getting lost. The students had to resolve the exchange student’s dilemma in a believable way. Circumstances of performance This sample of student work was produced under the following conditions:
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What the work shows c
Writing: The student produces a narrative
account (fictional or autobiographical) that: |
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| • | engages the reader by establishing a context, creating a point of view, and otherwise developing reader interest; | |
| • | establishes a situation, plot, point of view, setting, and conflict (and for autobiography, the significance of events and of conclusions that can be drawn from those events); | |
| • | creates an organizing structure; | |
| • | includes sensory details and concrete language to develop plot and character; | |
| • | excludes extraneous details and inconsistencies; | |
| • | develops complex characters; | |
| • | uses a range of appropriate strategies, such as dialogue, tension or suspense, naming, and specific narrative action, e.g., movement, gestures, expressions; | |
| • | provides a sense of closure to the writing. | |
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 On
arrival at the airport, Ari finds that his exchange family is not
there to meet him. This establishes the context and the persona of
Ari Goldstein as “a 15 year old exchange student.” |
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The reader’s interest is engaged by the vivid beginning that describes Ari’s arrival in New York. The reader’s interest is further developed by the humorous misinterpretation of the word “subway.”
The plot unfolds as Ari encounters numerous characters who each play
a role in his adventures around various famous New York settings.
The work incorporates believable transitions which create a sequence
of events. The conflict is resolved when Ari is united with his host
family.The student organized the work around a problem which is introduced at the beginning. The action builds until Ari meets Juan who is instrumental in solving Ari’s problem. The plot is resolved when Ari finally meets the host family.  Throughout
the work, the student used descriptions to enhance the narrative.
For example, the first person whom Ari meets is “a man wearing
a turban who was standing next to a yellow taxi.” The student
used concrete language and a well organized sequence of events to
develop the plot. For example, in each anecdote, Ari is unable to
communicate verbally and must resort to using body language which
adds humor to the story. Ironically, this results in Ari receiving
exactly what he needs from a person who is ideally suited to helping
him. |
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| Ari’s character is developed through the many encounters
he has with different people as he travels around New York City. He
is portrayed as a trusting, innocent, brave, personable, and resourceful
young man. The character, Juan, is interesting. He is a Puerto Rican
who speaks little English but is fluent in Hebrew because he works
in a kosher restaurant. It is this twist of fate that leads to Ari
finding his family. The student used suspense as an effective strategy to create reader anticipation throughout the story.  The student
used the famous landmarks in New York City as a strategy to enhance
the story while maintaining reader interest. |
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The final paragraph provides a sense of closure to the writing. In
keeping with the humorous events that lead Ari safely to the home
of the host family, Ari’s final comment sums it up, “He
explained that it was funny to him that he had spent an entire day
in Manhattan and had not met one person who spoke English.”
There are some errors in the work, for example, in the second paragraph the word “told” appears as “old.” This seems to be a typographical error. Also in this paragraph, “remembered” is used instead of “remember.” This could be a slip since the student demonstrated a control of tenses elsewhere in the narrative. |
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