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Work Sample & Commentary:  Lost Time
The task
Students were asked to write a creative reaction to a cliché about time. This student chose to respond to the cliché, “Lost time is never found again.”

Circumstances of performance
This sample of student work was produced under the following conditions:
alone in a group
in class as homework
with teacher feedback with peer feedback
timed opportunity for revision

What the work shows
c Writing: The student produces a narrative account (fictional or autobiographical) that:
• engages the reader by establishing a context, creating a point of view, and otherwise developing reader interest;
• establishes a situation, plot, point of view, setting, and conflict (and for autobiography, the significance of events and of conclusions that can be drawn from those events);
• creates an organizing structure;
• includes sensory details and concrete language to develop plot and character;
• excludes extraneous details and inconsistencies;
• develops complex characters;
• uses a range of appropriate strategies, such as dialogue, tension or suspense, naming, and specific narrative action, e.g., movement, gestures, expressions;
• provides a sense of closure to the writing.
This work sample illustrates a standard-setting performance for the following parts of the standards:
c Writing: Produce a narrative account.
b Literature: Produce work in at least one literary genre that follows the conventions of the genre.
The student engaged the reader by beginning the story with an exciting scene from the movie Star Wars. The reader is drawn into the world of the movie which, through a smooth transition, becomes the world of the character, Chris, who is watching the scene on television. This parallel reflects Chris’s involvement in the movie.
The student divided the account into three sections using visual breaks. Each of these sections represents a distinct chunk of time and this division creates a clear organizing structure.

The work is further organized around the results of the choices made by the main character, Chris. When he chooses to waste time, he sets off a chain of negative events, which in the end teach him an important lesson about time.
Dialogue is used to establish the plot, the conflict, and the setting of the story.

The student used sensory details to enhance the story and to develop the characters. For example,
metaphor; and
appropriate adjectives.

The student used a range of appropriate strategies, such as,
tension and suspense; and
specific narrative action, e.g., movement, gestures, and expressions.

The student also used dialogue throughout the narrative to develop reader interest, vary the pace of the narration, and to develop plot and character.
The work closes with the statement made by Chris’ father which brings the story full circle. The conflict is resolved when Chris chooses to use time wisely.
b Literature: The student produces work in at least one literary genre that follows the conventions of the genre.

The work demonstrates the student’s ability to manage the elements of the short story. The student used the cliché, lost time is never found, as the basis for this modern fable. The story focuses on a single event, the student’s choice to waste time rather than do his homework, and the resulting consequences. The narrative is concise while incorporating figurative language and appropriate dialogue which engages the reader and develops the character and the plot.

The story concludes, as the traditional fable ends, with the protagonist recognizing the error of his ways.
There are a few errors of usage (e.g., “your” in the first sentence of dialogue should be “you’re” and “hanged” in the fourth paragraph of the third section should be “hung”), and punctuation (e.g., the run-on sentence in the first paragraph of the third section).