Back to Index

Work Sample & Commentary:  Conformity in Numbers
The task
Students were asked to write an essay to persuade an audience one way or another on an issue of current significance in the news.

Circumstances of performance
This sample of student work was produced under the following conditions:
alone in a group
in class as homework
with teacher feedback with peer feedback
timed opportunity for revision

What the work shows
d Reading: The student demonstrates familiarity with a variety of public documents (i.e., documents that focus on civic issues or matters of public policy at the community level and beyond) and produces written or oral work that does one or more of the following:
• identifies the social context of the document;
• identifies the author’s purpose and stance;
• analyzes the arguments and positions advanced and the evidence offered in support of them, or formulates an argument and offers evidence to support it;
• examines or makes use of the appeal of a document to audiences both friendly and hostile to the position presented;
• identifies or uses commonly used persuasive techniques.

The student responded to a matter of public policy that may affect her directly, and yet did so in a manner that engages the issue rather than attacks it irresponsibly. This strategy also maintains the document’s appeal to both friendly and hostile audiences.

The essay analyzes the major argument for advocating school uniforms and identifies some of the possible problems with the
argument.

e Writing: The student produces a persuasive essay that:
• engages the reader by establishing a context, creating a persona, and otherwise developing reader interest;
• develops a controlling idea that makes a clear and knowledgeable judgment;
• creates an organizing structure that is appropriate to the needs, values, and interests of a specified audience, and arranges details, reasons, examples, and anecdotes effectively and persuasively;
• includes appropriate information and arguments and excludes information and arguments that are irrelevant;
• anticipates and addresses reader concerns and counter-arguments;
• supports arguments with detailed evidence, citing sources of information as appropriate;
• provides a sense of closure to the writing.

This work sample illustrates a standard-setting performance for the following parts of the standards:
d Reading: Demonstrate a familiarity with public
documents.
e Writing: Produce a persuasive essay.
A bleak context is established in the opening sentence that serves to emphasize the negative judgment.
The controlling idea for the argument is established in a thesis statement at the end of the first paragraph.
The essay holds to the structure of the argument identified in the thesis statement, dealing first with the idea of stifled creativity and then with the idea that uniforms do not properly address the issue of violence.
The essay deals directly with the traditional arguments given in support of school uniform policies, particularly in dealing with the issue of violence.
The strong conclusion reiterates the point made in the opening regarding school uniforms, but in a more forceful manner that takes into consideration the argument presented.