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Work Sample & Commentary:  Friendship is Colorblind
The task
Students read the following books:
The Sign of the Beaver by E. G. Speare;
My Brother Sam is Dead by James L. Collier and Christopher Collier;
To Be a Slave by Julius Lester;
Follow the Drinking Gourd by Jeanette Winter;
Who is Carrie? by James L. Collier and Christopher Collier;
My People Could Fly by Virginia Hamilton;
In Their Own Words, 1619 - 1865 by Milton Meltzer.


Then they were asked to produce a historical novel based on the assigned readings and the Prentice Hall textbook, The American Nation. A collaborative approach was utilized with individual groups brainstorming and writing specific chapters. The students used consensus to reconcile differences encountered in the production of the novel.

This work sample is made up of excerpts from “Friendship is Colorblind” which consists of eight chapters and an epilogue.

Circumstances of performance
This sample of student work was produced under the following conditions
alone in a group
in class as homework
with teacher feedback with peer feedback
timed opportunity for revision

What the work shows
b Reading: The student reads and comprehends at least four books (or book equivalents) about one issue or subject, or four books by a single writer, or four books in one genre, and produces evidence of reading that:

makes and supports warranted and responsible assertions about the texts;
supports assertions with elaborated and convincing evidence;
draws the texts together to compare and contrast themes, characters, and ideas;
makes perceptive and well developed connections;
evaluates writing strategies and elements of the author’s craft.

This work sample illustrates a standard-setting performance for the following parts of the standards:

b Reading: Read and comprehend at least four books about one issue or subject, or four books by a single writer, or four books in one genre.
a Conventions: Demonstrate an understanding of the rules of the English language.
b Literature: Produce work in at least one literary genre that follows the conventions of the genre.
The students read seven books about slavery in the United States from 1619 to the early 1900’s. The depth of their understanding of this historical period is made evident by the situations, incidents, experiences, and characters they created in the story. By portraying the slave owners as people with different attitudes toward, and relationships with, the slaves they owned, the students were able to stay true to historical fact and show the complexities of human nature. The capture of the African children by the slave catchers, the trip across the Middle Passage to America in slave ships, the slave auctions, and the continuous selling of slaves from one owner to another, were all common occurrences as documented in the slave narratives of this period. The students’ attention to detail, such as the references to the shackles, nets, and the conditions on the slave ship help to draw the reader into the story and make the experiences of the characters believable.

a Conventions, Grammar, and Usage of the English Language: The student demonstrates an understanding of the rules of the English language in written and oral work, and selects the structures and features of language appropriate to the purpose, audience, and context of the work. The student demonstrates control of:
grammar;
paragraph structure;
punctuation;
sentence construction;
spelling;
usage.
The students managed the conventions of grammar, paragraph structure, usage, and punctuation consistently and correctly throughout their extended narrative. The students used a variety of sentence structures, from simple to complex, and sentence lengths to fit the mood and action of the story.

The work contains some errors. For example, there is a spelling error in the second chapter (“go” instead of “got”). Since the students avoided similar errors throughout the extended narrative, it can be assumed that this is a slip rather than an error. There are also a couple of places where the comma or period is outside the quotation marks. In the majority of cases, quotation punctuation is used correctly.

b Literature: The student produces work in at least one literary genre that follows the conventions of the genre.

The work demonstrates the students’ ability to manage the elements of the novel and produce a literary work in the genre of historical fiction.

The title of the first chapter, “Kidnapped To America,” engages the reader’s curiosity initially by appealing to human interest. The work continues to involve the reader by depicting an ironically peaceful scene which the reader, because of the title, strongly suspects is about to be disrupted. These are conventions commonty used by professional novelists.
The students incorporated historical details into their narrative. For example, the realistic descriptions of Mr. Walker’s mistreatment and killing of slaves, and the beatings of Hakeem and Betsy, reflect the horrors of the actual time period of the story.
The students used fictitious characters as a method of dramatizing historical information. (In this paragraph, Mr. Walker is mistakenly referred to as “Mr. Smith.”)

The work balances historical fact and details, with suspenseful, fast-paced narrative.

The story, narrated from an omniscient point of view, is organized into three sections—life in Africa before slavery, life in America during slavery, and the return to Africa and freedom. The conflicts in the story are both external, such as the shackles and whips used to physically restrain and break the Africans, and internal, evidenced by Hakeem’s struggle over his friendship with the slave owner’s blind son, Joseph. The conflicts are resolved in the tragic and climactic ending of the story. The recurring theme of the enduring bond of friendship is incorporated throughout the work.

The work illustrates a variety of character constructs, from Hakeem, who shows a range of emotions and attitudes in response to the events and circumstances he finds himself in, to Mr. Walker, who embodies the cruelty and horror of slavery. The character of Mrs. Smith develops in the course of the narrative from a woman concerned only for the well-being of her family to someone who could stand up for Hakeem and his friends in front of the town’s people.

As in professional novels, the students incorporated a large number of characters into their story. These characters are all connected by significant events, localities, and, in some cases, experiences.

The epilogue provides closure to the novel and returns the action to the starting point—in Nigeria.

Also noteworthy is the students’ incorporation of the cliff-hanger into their narrative. Each chapter ends at a climactic point in the action of the story. This technique, used often by serial television shows, keeps the audience engaged in the long story line.

The students also used a variety of story writing techniques to enhance and develop their narrative:

metaphor;
foreshadowing;
irony;
dialogue; and
descriptive language.


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